Monthly Archives: September 2011

Your dad dated women out of his league before you did and nobody understands how he scored your mom to prove it. 

So hipsters, next time you’ve got your arm around someone beautiful who has been PBR-brainwashed into thinking that your dirt stache and emaciated body is the epitome of being attractive, remember this…



With only weeks before I become a digital dad myself, this blog may have even more relevance than usual but all I can say is go enjoy the brilliance here


via @JGarant


Facebook have just announced their new profile features launching September 30. The idea is to turn your life into a beautiful infographic, using data visualisation techniques pioneered by a guy called Nicholas Felton

Essentially, Facebook hired Felton because for the last five years he has been making notes of every single walk, cab ride, meal and song in his life, to produce his very own ‘Annual Report’.

So along with his creative partner, he has developed Daytum so you can do the same thing with your own ‘big data’. Very cool… Check it out here

We’re not really in the business of covering ‘people doing stupid things’ stories, but this gem from Gawker is just too good to pass up:

Woman buys a block of wood with an Apple logo thinking it’s an iPad

The spectacularly stupid Ashley McDowell was approached by two men in a McDonald’s parking lot where they offered to sell her an iPad for $300. She only had $180, but they gave it to her anyway. When she got home, she found out it was really just a block of wood with an Apple logo painted on the back.

But it’s sort of an amazing block of wood. This story is just too comical in so many ways. There’s McDowell, thinking she scored the deal of a lifetime at the South Carolina Mickey D’s and paid $180 for a piece of wood in a FedEx box. Apparently the con men selling her the goods claimed they bought them in bulk and were selling them at a discount. Then she calls the cops and they launch in investigation into her stupidity. Sorry, lady, but if you bought this story, the $180 should be considered a Stupid Tax and the crooks should get to keep it.

The crooks are totally crazy, too. Didn’t they realize that they didn’t need to make the block of wood look like an iPad? They even painted on a screen and some fake icons so that it would look like the real deal. Did they realize that the success of their felonious enterprise was contingent on the mark not taking it out of the box? This wasn’t going to fool them! I mean, if you swipe the screen and get a splinter, you have to know something’s up. I can just picture the two men sitting around for hours making all these fake iPads like Santa’s elves in the workshop thinking they’re going to strike it rich. Either that or they just painted it up to fuck with the people who they just ripped off. Actually, that’s pretty badass.

Badass indeed. I’ll now be spending my weekends loitering in the Smith St Macca’s carpark, hoping that one of the neighborhood junkies offers me a treated pine iPad.


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